Dear Pap-Pap

Grandma says we used to stand at the top of the steps and talk late into the night. I don't remember this... How many conversations am I missing?

I told her that they were probably such a daily occurence that they never registered in my long term memory. I've since tried to recreate those missing memories. I have maybe... an inkling that it happened once, but no idea what we talked about. And I could be imagining things anyway...

What I do remember is going upstairs and hearing your small TV on, because you'd come up to bed hours beforehand. And you'd still be awake, watching whatever, or snoring through the show. A couple times, I might've snuck in to turn the TV off because it was keeping me awake. Most times, though, I could rely on you eventually waking up, realizing it was still on, and turning it off. Not as if I was going to bed at an early time anyway...

And I can remember countless late nights talking with Grandma, instead. Sitting at the kitchen table or in the living room, talking about whatever topic or that day's events... They stopped, after a while... When I was working late nights at the library or coming home to eat and immediately go upstairs for homework. And now that she's moving back up north, I wonder how many of my "Friday" nights will become late night conversations with her again, in her new, but small, living room.

I don't know if this will be better for her. I'd like to think there would be more visiting and doing stuff together. But you had that with aunt Dauna anyway. In reality, it won't be much different. Except that Grandma will know the area better. I just hope this is the right thing. It feels right. And it feels like you'd agree.