Fear in Writing

Two friends have taken up their creative writing pens, and both of them are my gender-specific best friends. Both are history buffs, though for different areas. Laura is far more artistic than Damon, but Damon has untapped reserves of creativity and a... childlike wonder at things, sometimes. I've been badgering Laura to write in a particular story for the past... geeze... over five years? She finally did a year or so ago, restarting it and continuing, then revising for this past NaNoWriMo. Damon, however, has been recently toying with ideas and finally landed on something intriguing enough to make me wonder how it's going, how much he's written.

I've discovered that any story that makes me remember it and want to read it, even though it's not written yet, is bound to be a very good idea. Both their ideas fit this category. I've also discovered that it's far easier to guide a writer than it is to be originally creative. I take Laura by her figurative shoulders and ease her around the tasks of writing, suggesting what she do next and offering ideas and details for her story during brainstorming sessions. She has made remarkable progress. I'm so proud of her, and I'm confident she'll finish her epic story long before I finish one of my lesser tales. Granted, she has more desperation behind her efforts than I do.

Damon, on the other hand, is still in his playing stage. He's teasing the details out of his head and discovering what works, what requires a name, what actually occurs in the plot and what is backstory. We sat in Panera the other day and chatted about his one novel. It really is a wondrous idea. But as I spoke to him, I could see a smidgen of crestfallen fear appear. There's so much to writing that he didn't anticipate, so much greater depth that is leaving him unbalanced. We started talking about scenes and how he would present it, and how the effort you put into one scene will match every single one to follow. It's incredibly daunting, and something people don't understand until they're faced with the task. World-building aside, to create characters and situations and present them in a way that readers will appreciate is intimidating. So many choices... what to include and what to forgo... how to present it... Sometimes, it's too much. Laura is having similar moments of concern. The deeper she goes, the wider the breadth becomes and the more she has to present properly. The more she has to create and determine.

I can tell that both of them weren't anticipating this fear. The unsettling suspicion that it's too much... that you can't do it... that maybe the idea isn't good after all and all of this will be wasted effort... that you might not have the skill to pull it off. And I keep reassuring them that everything they feel, every task they undertake, is all normal for the creative/writing process.

But what about me? I see friends writing and what have I been doing? Trying to force my way through reviews and losing time for leisure reading. Trying to finish beta reading in time for an online and local acquaintance. Trying to edit reviews in time so Weave's blog doesn't suffer. Trying to survive the hassle of retail (despite being in a bookstore) and get home and do a different kind of work instead of settling in to binge on TV shows.

Very often, I feel that my friends are better at the writing life than I am.